Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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