he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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