Nicole vs. Life
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
