She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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