Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
