Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I supernannyed him into submission
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
