she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
