She announced her abortion via fbk
No stitches, just platelets and will power
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
