He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
