I want to make a zoo with you.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
