Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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