i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
