there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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