Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
