You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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