im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
