I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize