Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
