Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
