On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
