so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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