I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
