Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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