I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
