I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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