Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
