You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
