If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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