Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
