So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize