The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
