i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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