Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
