there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
