News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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