Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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