Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
