I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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