grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
