Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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