in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
