Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
