When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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