just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
