This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I cut my penus on the lid.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
