At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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