please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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