i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Fuck appropriateness.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
