New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
