Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
