when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
