This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
