Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
