I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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