he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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