I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
