when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
