Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Randomize