Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I can feel your judgement through the phone
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
