When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
