im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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