I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
