i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize