NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
