Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
