If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
