I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
