This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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