Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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