oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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