Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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