Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
