i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
