so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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