Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
