you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
