There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
