he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
