He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
