I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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