you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
