does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
