fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize